This week, I experienced cyber bullying by two people I had called friends for many years.
It left me feeling devastated. I was hurt, let down and physically and mentally sickened by the cowardly attack. Those who know me well, understand that I am a very sensitive and gentle soul and so this kind of experience really knocked me for six and I have needed to take some downtime to recover my inner balance.
I had a lot of support from people I love and trust, people who said all the things that I knew to be true, like “it’s about them, not you” and “you’re a wonderful, caring, good person and we know that” and “you are stronger than you think” and “they are bitter people who have nothing better to do than attack a kind caring human being” and “these people are just very small and short minded with a lot of missing confidence”. And it’s all true, but it still left me feeling like I must have done something very wrong to provoke this abuse.
And then a wise person reminded me that of course, this is exactly the kind of reaction a bully wants, they want you to feel that you are to blame for everything that is bad in their own life, that it is somehow all your fault, they want to feel bigger and better than you by trying to make you feel small and worthless.
Well, it didn’t work!
I know my worth and I also know that holding on to feelings of anger and hate will only hurt me more, so I am letting them go with love, because I deserve some peace.
If you have been subjected to bullying online, I’d love to hear how you coped.
As usual, walking in the beautiful countryside really help restore my mental state and here are a few of the photo’s I took this week;