Getting over a cyber attack

This week, I experienced cyber bullying by two people I had called friends for many years.

It left me feeling devastated. I was hurt, let down and physically and mentally sickened by the cowardly attack.  Those who know me well, understand that I am a very sensitive and gentle soul and so this kind of experience really knocked me for six and I have needed to take some downtime to recover my inner balance.

I had a lot of support from people I love and trust, people who said all the things that I knew to be true, like “it’s about them, not you” and “you’re a wonderful, caring, good person and we know that” and “you are stronger than you think” and “they are bitter people who have nothing better to do than attack a kind caring human being” and “these people are just very small and short minded with a lot of missing confidence”. And it’s all true, but it still left me feeling like I must have done something very wrong to provoke this abuse.

And then a wise person reminded me that of course, this is exactly the kind of reaction a bully wants, they want you to feel that you are to blame for everything that is bad in their own life, that it is somehow all your fault, they want to feel bigger and better than you by trying to make you feel small and worthless.

Well, it didn’t work!

I know my worth and I also know that holding on to feelings of anger and hate will only hurt me more, so I am letting them go with love, because I deserve some peace.

If you have been subjected to bullying online, I’d love to hear how you coped.

As usual, walking in the beautiful countryside really help restore my mental state and here are a few of the photo’s I took this week;

 

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Things I’m Grateful For…

It’s been a while since I last posted, there is something about the time between taking down the Christmas tree and the first daffodils appearing that is very bleak and grey. And I tend to go into hibernation mode. But here we are in early March and spring is just around the corner, days are lighter, and going for a walk is back on the agenda;

Today though, my thoughts are turning to gratitude. I decided to write down some of the things that I am grateful for in my life as a reminder of everything that is good;

1) Knowledge and Education

Books to read, internet to search, wisdom of others, my own life experience, growing older, learning from mistakes, expansion of consciousness, greater understanding of people.

2) Honesty and Compassion

Openness and awareness, being truthful with myself and others, caring, loyal, helping others, trusting myself and others, being generous, giving my time freely and willingly, believing in myself and others, not letting people take advantage of my good nature.

3) This Moment

Living in the present, appreciation, acceptance of what is, acceptance of who I am right now, calmness, just being in the here and now, just being me.

4) Family and Friends

Laughter, long hugs, having fun, creating memories, family values, my husband, our children, similar beliefs, being reliable, loving, loyalty, belonging.

5) Memories

Nostalgia, hearing and telling stories from the past, personal growth, personal history, connections, people and places, old photographs, favourite songs, travelling, adventures.

6) Plants, Animals and Pets

Faithful companions, four legged friends, the natural world, survival, happiness, giving comfort, bringing joy, life.

7) Food and Water

Tasty nutrition, healthy eating, hydration, experimenting with flavours, nourishment, comfort, life.

8) Health

Wellness, being fit, increased mobility, having an expert care team, being  in a normal weight range, eating well, enjoying movement, increased energy.

9) Work, Rest and Play

Relaxation, meditation, journaling, having fun, caring for the home, caring for myself, homemaking, holidays, weekend adventures, enthusiasm, being passionate, happiness.

10) Art, Music and Creativity

Making connections, painting, mod podging, new techniques, Pinterest, new projects, new ideas, emotional, ever changing, never ending, having play days, creative huddles, writing, expressing myself.

 11) Healing and Strength

Being resilient, personal growth, forgiveness of self and others, time is a healer, freeing, releasing, calming, clarity , peace.

12) Happiness and Laughter

My husband, joyfulness, having fun, hearing jokes, being silly, lightheartedness, sense of humour, smiling, feeling good, feeling happy, feeling alive, being positive, sharing.

13) Passion and Love

My husband, belonging, togetherness, completeness, wholeness, companionship, bliss, excitement, family, friends.

14) Mind, Body, Spirit

Soul, finding purpose, being spiritual, Buddha, meditation space, being at peace, clarity, comfort, connection, being connected, feeling of oneness, depth, being in balance.

15) Sunrise and Sunset

New beginnings, endings, colourful, richness, freshness, magical, gratitude, magnificence, hope, beauty, powerful, quiet, peace.

16) Nature

Trees, flowers, plants, growth, beauty, freshness, clean air, changing seasons, circle of life, Mother Earth, being connected.

17) Moon Cycle

Abundance, visual clarity, wealth, high energy, low energy, healing crystals, feeling emotional, divine feminine power.

18) Each New Day

Waking up, new beginnings, fresh starts, another chance, paying it forwards, doing good, being kind, thankful for life, hope, doing better, learning from mistakes, wiping the slate clean.

What are you grateful for? I’d love to hear from you :-)

 

 

 

 

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Rustic Stick Star

Stick StarThe one thing I love about Christmas is to be able to make use of the things I find around me in the garden and hedgerows to make lovely decorations and ornaments for the home. This year is no exception and my favourite project by far has to be the lovely stick star made from little twigs gathered on a walk back in the summer. I’d left them drying out in the shed to use as kindling for our fire pit, but actually we had such a poor summer that we rarely sat out in the evenings. So I gave it another use.

So simple, all I did was take 5 twigs of fairly equal size, and cut them to the same length – taking off any knobbly bits with a pair of secateurs. I set them out in a basic 5 point star shape, then used a glue gun to glue them in place.

Once dry – and it didn’t take long, I gave the star a light dusting of silver spray paint. when that was dry, I took some festive themed twine that I’d picked up in Lidle for a couple of pounds and wove it around to make a very rustic and pretty star.

I was going to just leave it as a side decoration, but when we went to decorate the tree, we discovered that our old and much loved glittery star had disintegrated, so we put the stick star to good use!

Festive Tree

Looks nice, don’t you think? Pixie, our Christmas cat likes it too!

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